Writing once in a while is doable. Writing consistently is hard. Carving the time, finding inspiration and the right words is hard.
I have to say that our day jobs and busy lives can kill creativity and expression. You can feel robotic at times. The more analytical work you do, the worse it gets! It is hard to stop your brain from constantly optimizing and evaluating. As I try extra hard to be concise and on point, I can feel the quality of my creative writing degrade. While I have learnt to appreciate better quality writing of others, I myself have become quite rusty.
Looking back at school days, completing the writing sections of the language subjects was not particularly laborious. Maybe because the topic was given or because we were expected to follow a given style of writing? Don’t we often wish that we could be the carefree and dreamy versions of our past selves? Or maybe there were guidelines then and now there are not. Maybe open ended things are just challenging generally? Or maybe our mind has grown too complex to express in writing?
Perhaps originality is tougher to seek in adulthood. I have never been a conformist so I make life harder for myself. At times, you may wonder, what is the motivation to be original? Well, this time it is to rediscover my own voice, lost in sea of influencers.
Writing until this point is already making me restless. My analytical self is trying to take over, reminding that I should probably check the word count. What should my writing goal be? Am I focused? Do these prior paragraphs go in flow or even make any sense?
Creative side says go on. Just write. Whatever. Worthwhile or not. Keep hoping that beautiful vocabulary strikes you at the right time. But until then, just pour your heart out.